Vania Florensia

Bits of me here and there.

Friday, 11 May 2018

Three Ways for Love to Come


Love does not always come as love only, I think.
Well, most of the times, love comes knocking as butterfly in the stomach.
Or, love comes as the pink blushes in your cheeks.
Or, love comes as the bright shine in your eyes, and the laughter from your mouth.
Love comes as the sweet narratives in your favorite fairytales book, hoping to find that someday.

But, sometimes,
Love comes as confusion in your brain.
Love comes destructing your perfect planned life unexpectedly.
Love comes recklessly, uninvited, and change you forever.
Love comes as denial you try to put aside.
Love comes as fight and war you have no choice to battle, with no assurance of winning.
And sometimes you lose.

On the other times,
well, this is my favorite part,
Love comes as calmness in the ocean at night, creating slow waves that lull your boat.
Love comes as warm blankets while rain is pouring down outside the window.
Love comes as autumn leaves and spring petals, turning into something beautiful, slowly, without strong winds in the winter, or radiating heat in the summer.
Love comes as a cup of tea in your morning, with perfect temperature with two croissants, knowing you would not mind having that for the rest of your life.
Sometimes, love does not come to you, love is there when you are ready.

Thursday, 12 April 2018

Weekly Memento: Ikhtiar dan Tawakal



Pernah ga sih, lo panik, karena tau lo kurang berusaha tapi juga tau udah ga bisa ngapa-ngapain lagi?

Kalo pernah, ya alhamdulillah sama, gue juga sering malah. Lol.
Ada masa-masa dimana gue panik setengah mati, bukan takut karena gue ga akan mendapat kesempatan, tapi takut karena gue sadar, gue belom berusaha sekeras itu. Ada masa-masa di mana gue panik yang berhubungan dengan kerjaan, karena gue tau gue masih bisa melakukan lebih, kalo aja keadaannya berbeda. Tapi kadang, gue ga bisa melawan keadaan. Because that's how it's supposed to be. Itu ada konsekuensi dari pilihan yang gue ambil sebelumnya.
Sebagai sarjana yang cakap, berwawasan... ngga deng itu mah jargon Teknik Industri ITB. Sebagai fresh graduate, pasti tau lah ya paniknya nyari kerja kayak gimana. Semangat menggebu-gebu di awal, mulai panik di tengah-tengah. Ternyata nyari kerja susah komandan. Kebetulan ini pengalaman pertama gue nyari kerja, karena kemarin abis lulus S1 gue ga langsung nyari kerja dan satu dan lain hal, jadilah gue juga ga pernah merasakan diwawancara.
Balik ke Jakarta, gue tau gue harus fokus nyari kerja. I have no time to spare anymore, and I have no space to run to anyway. This is life now. Ini yang harus gue hadapin ke depannya, dan sungguh, emang ya makin kesini tuh hidup makin ribet aja. Makin banyak pilihan yang harus lo ambil. Makin banyak konsekuensi yang harus lo hadapin.
Tapi di satu sisi juga, gue kayak diingetin, everything happened for a reason.
Beneran deh. Kesini-kesini, gue kayak amazed sendiri hidup gue ada di titik ini, setelah mengingat whirlwind yang terjadi setahun belakangan, dan gue sadar, ya semua itu emang untuk menyiapkan gue untuk sampai di titik seperti ini. Hal yang gue kutuk-kutuk kemarin, somehow, adalah sesuatu yang bikin mungkin semuanya terjadi. Funny, isn't it? Of course, gue percaya kalo misalnya semua yang kemaren itu ga terjadi, ya mungkin hidup gue juga udah diarahkan kemana yang insya Allah sama baiknya, tapi ya itu, funny that I feel so content with my life now. Not that content, but it's just finally everything slowly falls into its place now.
Dan yang juga mengingatkan lagi, Allah itu baik banget ya masya Allah bingung deh.
Pernah ga sih, lo sampe malu berdoa minta sesuatu karena lo sendiri juga ga melakukan apa-apa supaya keinginan lo tercapai? Gue sering juga. Wkwkwk. Abis ya masa cuma modal doa doang, usaha nggak. Gue mah malu duluan, mending nggak usah minta. Hahaha. Tapi the moment lo mulai berusaha semaksimal mungkin, and when you know you've done your best, there's nothing you can do anymore selain minta dibantu sama Yang Di Atas. Kalo kata pacar gue, itulah space space untuk meletakkan pengharapan ketika usaha lo emang udah selesai (but anyway gue ga yakin dia beneran ngomong gini, entar gue baca lagi deh chatnya, tapi kayaknya sih bener ya ada kata spacenya).

Anyway, gue masih merasa lost, masih merasa banyak di rencana dan hidup gue yang masih ga jelas, tapi ya itu, do something about it until you can't do anything anymore, and leave it to universe to help you. Just, everything happened for a reason. Sometimes you may get disappointed, but remember, not everything you want is good for you. Or in short, Al-Baqarah 216 :)
Until later!
Saturday, 31 March 2018

Votofolio: Vina & Adit Wedding










Captured by yours truly.
Wednesday, 14 February 2018

Not Too Much, Just Enough



I love you, not too much, just enough.

I love you,
not too much as the sea streams pulling the reefs apart,
just enough like the midnight waves hitting the sea shore tranquilly.

I love you,
not too much as the storm raging on the sky and the rain pouring hard to the ground,
just enough like the autumn wind blowing softy and the spring breezes introducing itself to the flowers.

I love you, not too much, just enough.

I love you,
not too much to let me give everything up for your sake,
just enough to let me do my best for everything.

I love you,
not too much to yield my sanity,
just enough to experience feelings that I no longer believe were real.

I love you,
not too much to suffocate me,
just enough to breathe the fresh air, again and again.

I love you,
not too much to let me lose myself,
just enough to be the best of me.

I love you,
not too much to kill me,
just enough to keep me alive.

I love you, not too much, just enough.



(inspired by Queen's "Too Much Love Will Kill You")