Longing for Home

Have you ever felt like, a deep longing towards a place you shouldn't be called home, but in retrospect, it was the most "home" you ever had?

Because I do. And I will wait, for the rest of my life, the moment I could take a walk on this path again.

London

 

“To walk alone in London is the greatest rest.” Virginia Woolf

Honestly, it can't be more true.

I'm not sure if there's a lot like me, but I'm not a big fan of London. It is too much, too big, too busy, it is not friendly. Everytime I set my foot in London, I always feel like out of place. However, to take a walk alone in London kinda made you realize that you are a tiny speck in the universe, put you back in the perspective that life goes on for everybody.

4/30: Navigating Life

 (this is a part of 30 topics writing challenge)

Honestly, if there's any knowledge I am grateful my whole life, it is probably not to be an a**hole.

If any of you has not subsribed to AITA (Am I The A**hole) on Reddit, do yourself a favor and find an Instagram account dedicated to that subreddit. It's shocking that sometimes people allow themselves to be hurt, but again, hey, I was on that position once.

I suspect it was my novels, fanfics, readings in general that brought me these knowledge. And as much as I try to shrug it off, my obsessions to self-motivating quotes kinda help me on *hard* times to stand up. Kadang-kadang gue mikir, how do I raise my future children to be likeable people?

3/30: Another World

This is probably my favorite place on Earth -- Iceland.

It was something else, beyond anything in this world.

2/30: To Overcome

 (this is a part of 30 topics writing challenge)

Second topic in and I'm already changing the subject. Well if it ain't me. But I feel like I can talk more about this: What is something you’ve had to overcome in your life? 

It's a bit scattered in my brain right now, but I think I managed to move past the feeling of not being enough. It stemmed from the earliest memory of heartbreak that I ever experienced: I was not good enough and I was easily replaceable. I think, deep down, it really crushed me and broke my trust to people.

And thus, I began to detach from people. I started to store relationship in my brain as something temporary. I trained myself to feel okay by being alone. As sad as it sounded, it was something that support my life in Manchester, that I was able to live on my own. I felt enough by myself, I felt comfortable to roam around on my own, I took solo trips to cities, the only thing I needed was myself. 

But I met person, people, and somehow my perception shifted. I do think I still need to manage my attachment, but not everybody will leave. Some will stay. Some stays. Some grew apart, but it's okay.

I am good. And I am enough. And I am worthy of people. And I deserve love.