Bits of me here and there.

Monday 21 August 2017

Dwell in Uncertainties

I swear to God I'm in the middle of writing my dissertation, but I feel like rambling at 12 AM, so here I am.

I had meaningful conversation yesterday, talking about life and how sometimes, we dwell in uncertainties and losing hope that everything will go as we plan. I have been there. I have been in a hole, for 6 months or longer, I honestly felt like that phase of my life was a blur, up until now.
I think it happens to everybody.
(I swear to God I don't know what I'm trying to say but I feel like writing)
Life sucks sometimes. For some of the people, life sucks most of the time. You feel like you're losing direction and everybody turns their back against you, well not really, it is just you feel worthless.
And that's okay.
Everybody has their moment, I guess. I won't say that it will be okay, I can only say that too shall pass. I don't know how it will turn up for you. I can only say, you either choose, or life choose it for you. Just remember, you won't be stuck forever. You can feel like you are in the middle of nowhere now, but trust me, it will change. I can only hope for you (whoever you are who reading this), it will turn good. If it's not now, maybe later.
I have a verse that guides my life from the moment I read this verse from Quran.

... It could be that you dislike something, when it is good for you; and it could be that you like something, when it is bad for you. Allah knows, and you do not know." - QS Al-Baqarah: 216

When you look at it for the first time, maybe you will think it's so cliche, as we human normally loves something that is bad for us, but we can unlove that, and we are very aware of that. But, as I took a walk this night going back home, I felt like it was beyond that. You don't know if it's good or bad for you, you just give it a best shot, and you love it wholeheartedly. But God knows. You may feel like it's so unfair when it is taken away from you, or when you fail, but I'd like to think that, when you're already giving the best effort, that is up to Him. And when we succeed, or fail, that is actually the answer. Everything happens for a reason. Just, give your best shot, and when you feel it is the best you can give, what happens after that is beyond your control. You might not understand it know, or forever, but I'd like think that there is greater plan for you behind that.

I swear this might sounds cliche, but honestly, that is how I avoid regret for these past years. I gave my best, and I stopped worrying. And just remember, whatever uncertainties you're having now, it will pass. It will become clearer and brighter, and you'll be in the road that is destined for you.
Saturday 19 August 2017

Student Again: At the End of the Road

Hi!

It's been ages tho, I'm not even sure if someone is still reading this blog (lol!), but if you're reading this, hi and thanks :D
Gue lagi in the middle of writing dissertation, well, actually, almost at the end of it, and I can't be more excited for this to end honestlyyyyy I'm so tired. The old habit came back, and I fell sick constantly (well, as expected), which fortunately did not get any worse than the one I've had before 3 years ago (3 years?!).
I had my 23th birthday 2 weeks ago, which happened to be my first birthday literally away from home, but interestingly even better than the ones I had before. Woken up to sweet messages from people (if only I could frame some of them), picked myself up from bed and cooked lunch for my bestfriends (biggest milestone of adulting: actually feeding people with my dishes), had semi-failed surprise but still lovely tho, took detour to had afternoon tea near home, and ended up with partying which well... not the best place I've ever been but eh okay for the night out. In summary, one of the best day I had in this city. Not to mention lovely messages and warm wishes from everyone that reminds me I'm still surrounded by good people which sometimes I take for granted.
My adventure in this city is almost over, like only 5 months left, yet I just started to appreciate this place more. You know the sayings, you don't know what you have until you lose it. But well, let's make this time the most out of it tho. So, I'm trying to go out more now, enjoy the sun, socializing with people, while simultaneously hoping the day would change faster and everything would be fine again.

Anyhoo, I'm still not sure what I'm trying to say in this post, just feel like to update something, altho I'm not sure anyone wants to feel updated...? Is there someone still reading this?
But well, wish me luck!